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January 20, 2004
Etiquette Lesson
Okay listen up! I’m getting on my soapbox now and I don’t know how long I’m going to be there, so if you’re not in the mood to hear it I would suggest you skip this post altogether. You have been warned.
I was brought up to believe that you ‘call before you come’. Meaning: give me some warning before you come to visit. Now, I realize that all people don’t have strong feelings about this like I do, but let me tell you I DO have VERY strong feelings about this rule of etiquette. I don’t believe that it applies to close family members though. My parents are welcome to come over whenever they please.
It may seem as if I’m being overly sensitive, but checking with my copy of Amy Vanderbilt’s Etiquette, I see that I am not. Mrs. Vanderbilt says, “It is a considerate thing to phone any newcomer on whom you plan to call to ask when it will be convenient for her to see you. Choose the afternoon between three and five or, if it’s an informal home and an informal neighborhood, in the early evening after dinner, first making sure you are welcome.” I couldn’t agree with this more.
For the past two Sunday’s we have attended a new church. They strongly suggest that you fill out a visitor card and drop it in the offering plate. They also have a guest book that you can sign when entering or leaving the building. Kevin and I never fill out these visitor cards. We know that once you fill them out, someone is bound to “come calling” on you and they never call first. I have no idea why church’s think that they are exempt from this rule. It would be lovely to be asked so that I might have time to straighten things up a bit, burn a candle, put on a bra, etc.
Okay, so I have established that Kevin and I never fill out these cards. Skip to us on the way home from church this Sunday. Ashley is in the back seat telling us how everything went: the games they played, how they talked about Baptism, how she filled out a visitor card, how they sang. “Back up! What was that? Did you say you filled out a visitor’s card?” I asked. “Yes, he said it was very important and he wants to meet you.” She replied. Okay, I thought to myself, we’ll meet him next Sunday morning. “Did you give our address?” I asked. “Yes and he said that he lives just a few streets over from us!” I knew. I knew right then we would be having company; company that was not invited and that had definitely not called to see when it would be convenient for us. Church people never do. Some people say, “Well if you know when they’re coming, you’ll make sure your not at home.” Hmmmm. Let’s just think about that statement. Might that mean that they don’t want to be bothered?
Tonight we ate dinner a little early. Normally we’re sitting down to eat at 6, but tonight it was 5:45. By 6:10 I had finished the dishes, but I knew that it smelled pretty funky in there. We had eaten fish and it keeps the kitchen good and smelly for at least two hours afterwards and that’s with the help of an incense stick. The garbage was piled high, but I had planned to wait until dinner was over because I knew plates would need to be scraped and then the fish smell would be in the garbage. (There is reasoning behind my madness). Ashley’s Polly Pocket’s were all over the living room and the TV was blaring Clean Sweep when the doorbell rang. It was 6:15. Once again, I knew. I knew that it would be someone from church because they never call first. I hadn’t even lit an incense stick; I hadn’t had time to get to it just yet so the house was good and ripe. If I hadn’t cooked an early dinner, we would have still been eating. Now how rude is that? I quickly begged Kevin to please get the door and I ran to the bedroom. It was Ashley’s Sunday School teacher. I guess he couldn’t wait until next Sunday to meet us; although I stayed in the bedroom the entire time.
After he left I asked Kevin how it went. He told me that he kept him right next to the door, so he probably hadn’t seen the pile of garbage or the toys all over the floor. But, he will probably forever associate that fish smell with us whenever he sees us. Oh, well, I’m sure he is a very nice person, but he should have called! That goes for anyone outside the family. No one likes to be caught with their pants down (or their fish breath).
Posted by tami at January 20, 2004 8:40 PM
Comments
So I had better ring before I pop in to see you should I ever be over your way! Parts of this had me in stitches; still laughing.
Posted by: Lynne at January 21, 2004 4:57 AM
By the way, what DID he want?
Posted by: Lynne at January 21, 2004 4:58 AM
He just wanted to invite her on Sunday nights and Wednesday nights. But I really think they should be glad that we're there on Sunday mornings for now!
Posted by: Tami at January 21, 2004 7:49 AM
Oh, I hear you! Add weird hours to drop in's and you really have fun! We are nightowls since my DH works 2nd shift, and we often stay up until 4 or 5am (I stay up later, too, reading in bed or playing Scrabble on the PDA...Like tonight, for instance!). Folks who know us know w don't get moving until at least noon!
Posted by: GW at January 22, 2004 4:20 AM
I can totally relate to this! nobody every shows up when your house is spotless and you are cleaned up but the minute it is trashed and you look like you just rolled out of bed, knock on the door. Everytime it happens I am usually braless, have bed head and in pj's, and my husband is usually sitting in the recliner in boxers and a beer in hand, when we hear someone pulling into our drive way, we jump up and run like maniacs to look presentable.
Posted by: Melanie at January 25, 2004 11:43 AM