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February 26, 2004
Trailers And Caravans
You might be Trailer Trash if:
*Note to Brits: Trailer = Caravan
1. The Halloween pumpkin that is still on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" is one that bowls on a different night.
5. Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people."
6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y’all watch this."
8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
10. Your junior prom had a daycare.
11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen, start your engines."
12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up/down, depending on how much gas is in it.
14. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
17. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
18. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
20. Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.
21. If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
22. If the biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
23. If your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working T.V.
24. If you thought the Uni-bomber was a wrestler.
25. If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
26. If you think a quarter horse is that ride out in front of the K-Mart.
27. If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.
28. If a tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 of improvements.
29. If you've ever used a toilet brush as a back scratchier.
30. If you've ever asked the preacher "How's it hangin'?"
31. If you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
32. If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
33. If somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is.
34. If you've ever stared at a can or orange juice because it said concentrate.
35. If you've ever been too drunk to fish.
36. If you don't understand why the first 35 are funny.
Posted by tami at February 26, 2004 7:58 AM
Comments
Those are great! Man, #7 could be about this guy:
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/02/24/1077594821404.html
If the link doesn't work, here's the story:
Student dies in spitting contest
February 25, 2004
A student fell 11 storeys to his death during a spitting contest on his 20th birthday, police in Canada said.
The Ottawa-Carleton University student had been drinking with friends when, in an attempt to spit the furthest off a balcony, got a running start, tumbled over the railing and fell 11 storeys to his death, police said on Monday.
Police called the death "a tragic accident".
AFP
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Posted by: gw at February 27, 2004 1:23 AM
I hadn't heard about this one. That is tragic.
I guess he got a Darwin Award.
Posted by: Tami at February 27, 2004 7:12 AM
Still laughing; brightened the morning at work.
Posted by: Lynne at February 28, 2004 1:54 AM
Tammmmmmmi...Where arrrrre youuuu? Here I'm remembering to come by more often and there's no post today, LOL! It's our wedding anniversary and we're heading out for an afternoon in Columbus. Just wanted to say hi!
Posted by: gw at February 29, 2004 4:01 PM