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April 13, 2004
Thoughts For The Day
Whoever wrote these has a great sense of humor!
*I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
*Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
*The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
*Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
*Life is sexually transmitted, have you ever thought about that?
*An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
*If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead?"
*Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
*The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
*Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
*Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
*Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
*Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
*Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
*All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
*Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
*In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prosaic to make it normal.
*Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
*How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Posted by tami at April 13, 2004 7:57 AM
Comments
I am going to send the weather comment around to all the staff - its wonderful!!
Posted by: Miss L at April 13, 2004 12:05 PM
These are priceless, wickedly funny! :D
Posted by: gw at April 13, 2004 11:36 PM
Still laughing!
Posted by: lynne at April 14, 2004 1:22 AM