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August 31, 2007
Stability
Sometimes the Lord does things that make us ask, “Why?” When someone we love all of a sudden gets cancer, when an innocent baby is murdered, when a child is kidnapped, when a loved one dies; I could go on and on forever. All of those things make me ask, “Why?” But something else does too.
There are so many people out there who want children but can’t have them for one reason or another and then there are those people who pop them out like nobody’s business, but they don’t want them. I have a major problem with people who say, “I’m just not maternal” or “I never wanted kids”. Yes, I have heard that and it ticks me off. If you don’t want kids or you know you’re not the least bit maternal, take care and take birth control or keep your legs crossed. It’s really easy I think. We live in a society today where it is very simple to get birth control. You can even get the pills free if you can’t afford them. How great is that?!
It astonishes me how many parents don’t have their kids on a schedule. They have no certain homework time, dinner time, bath time, bedtime, and so on. They don’t make sure their kids are clean and neat looking. Their clothes should not be inside out and children at a very young age may not use the best judgment when it comes to picking out their own clothes. Therefore, it is the parent’s job to make sure these things are done.
It is also the parent’s job to make sure their child is at school on time. Once again, when they get to school, you want them to look neat and clean. Their clothes should be clean. Their shoes should be on the correct feet and their hair should be combed and free of lint. It’s not that hard. Trust me; I’ve been doing this for a long time. Most importantly, they need to attend school. If a child is sick you take him/her to the doctor and get a note – the note is very important. In our school system there is no limit on doctor’s notes, as there shouldn’t be.
A child cannot help it if he/she is sick. You do not take the sickness out on the child; meaning, don’t get mad because you had to leave work early and take it out on little Suzy. She cannot help it if she has a fever or an ear infection or whatever. She did not ask for you to be her parent, she got stuck with you the day she was born. You appeared to want her, so now you have to live with the consequences and take care of her for the next 18 years. Good luck with that.
It pains me to see children running around unattended with no rules and no guidance. I’m sure everyone reading this at one time or another has asked, “Where is his/her mother/father?" I ask myself that all the time.
It also troubles me when toddlers curse and their parent’s laugh or when they do something bad and the parent’s laugh. That will come back to haunt the parent who laughs. Children learn from an early age what behavior is acceptable and what is not. I have warned parent’s that they shouldn’t laugh and they didn’t listen. This is why the Bible says in Galatians 6:7, “Do not be deceived. God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” Many parents’ out there are reaping what they have sown. I hate to say I told you so.
If you aren’t maternal, then something has to give. You need to take some parenting classes; which are offered free or you need to let someone care for them that is maternal and does care what happens to them and their future. Just know that if you wait too long, it may be too late.
Something to consider before you have a child is work. Are both parent’s going to work or is one parent going to work and the other stay at home? If you can afford for one parent to stay at home, I highly recommend it. This way, you are there to care for the child yourself and teach them your morals and standards from day one, not the lady at daycare.
Going from two incomes to one is not easy, but you have to be willing to give up some things for your child. You may not be able to shop in the finest stores, or have the newest car, but you are giving these things up for a reason and it’s a good reason.
However, when you have children to feed and clothe, one parent has to keep a job. Let me be more specific. That parent needs to keep the same job for a long time, unless he/she finds another job that pays more. This is called stability. Believe it or not, children like stability in their lives. Not every child is as smart as Matilda.
With all this said, I have to say; no, I am not a perfect parent. Although I never did the things I mentioned above, I did make my share of mistakes. The difference in me is that I learned from my mistakes and some people never do. Some children will never have the stability they need. It’s shameful.
Posted by tami at August 31, 2007 9:41 AM
Comments
You can already see results of how kids have been raised - some of the teens that are now working have the worst "attitudes" when it comes to customer service that I have ever seen. When I was working, if I had acted like they act or said things that I have heard them say, I would have lost my job (in a heartbeat). Many of them expect the world to be handed to them on a "silver platter".
Posted by: Dana at August 31, 2007 10:58 AM
I don't understand why certain people have children. I guess maybe some people have them for the status, while others are too ignorant to use birth control. I agree with you that being a parent requires a lot of sacrifice, but it should be a joyful sacrifice..you shouldn't really mind giving up things for yourself so your children can have what they need. I think a lot of people don't realize the depth and magnitude of responsibility being a parent requires until they actually become a parent (and some people don't ever realize it..they just let their children run willy nilly without any guidance). I also agree with you on the point that if a person feels they are not maternal or not parent material, they shouldn't have kids. If a person KNOWS they don't like kids, or are too selfish to have kids, or they know they don't have the time it takes to devote the amount of attention to a child that he/she needs...that person should take the precautions necessary to prevent pregnancy. I also believe that men and women need to discuss having children before they get married. If one person wants children and the other one doesn't, I don't think the person that doesn't want children should give in and have them anyway just to make their partner happy.
Posted by: Stacey at August 31, 2007 1:27 PM
I am just wondering what prompted this statememt. a speech such as this usually comes from seeing some infringement that brings it to mind.
Posted by: ellice at September 2, 2007 8:09 AM
I responded to Ellice in a personal email. I say this because I wouldn't want someone to look at the comments and think, "She never answered her." So, I am letting you know. I will answer questions left to me IN THE COMMENTS within reason. Don't expect the same response if you just email me; no one knows you have asked the question if it was not left in the comments :)
Some people are REALLY bad about answering emails and questions, but I don't think I am part of that pack ;)
Posted by: Tami at September 2, 2007 9:58 AM
Part of the problem is we have generations of families who have never gotten out of that vicious circle. I see this in my town, children whose parents are in their teens, whose parents were in their teens...It's awful. :(
Posted by: gw at September 2, 2007 10:50 AM