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December 10, 2007
An Adjustment
I don’t have an “empty nest” yet and won’t for some time, however, I still feels the pangs of what it must feel like sometimes.
From time to time I get that empty feeling when I see commercials for toys my children will never get to play with; other times it happens whilst shopping.
Friday night, we found ourselves in Tuesday Morning. This is a great store full of odds and ends. It kind of reminds me of a Big Lots, only it has more expensive items.
Anyway, we went down the toy isle and I suddenly felt that pang of emptiness. It did not help that Ashley wasn’t with us. I tried to ignore this feeling as much as I could, but I wasn’t in the mood to buy anything.
Sunday morning in church the younger children got up and sang a song which would be in their Christmas concert. Every one of them looked beautiful. Some wore Christmassy sweaters and others were just dressed sweetly; the girls with bows in their hair and ruffles on their sleeves, the boys in sweaters or little suits. There is nothing quite as enchanting as the sound a little voice makes when it sings. It was so sweet it made my heart ache because I don’t have one their age.
I know I have many good years left with Ashley still at home. We haven’t raised a girl, so this will be a totally different experience I am sure. The eleven years we have had thus far have been wonderful. I look forward to her growing up and experiencing new things, but at the same time I think back to those days when she could wear those ruffled dresses with a bow atop her head, when she loved her baby dolls, when she couldn’t get a shoe on so I had to help, when she was thrilled to get a pad of paper in her Christmas stocking, when I had to read the same book to her over and over; little things add up to a lot when you no longer have them.
I guess with Andrew leaving for the Marines, I have realized this thing called life is moving on. I guess I didn’t comprehend it because it happened so suddenly. One day he was here and the next he was gone. One day Ashley was dressing like a princess and the next she was reading thick novels.
I do appreciate what I have, please don’t think otherwise. Nevertheless, when everything you’ve been used to is gone or has changed, it’s a hard adjustment that’s all. I’m going through an adjustment.
Posted by tami at December 10, 2007 11:56 AM
Comments
I know how you feel. I plan to start potty training Buck over the Christmas break and when I think about it, it's kind of sad. He's my last child in diapers and once he's trained, I'll never have to change another diaper again. I know a lot of people would think of this as a relief, but I don't. It's just another sign that all my babies are growing up so fast.
When I was Christmas shopping for my kids, I was at a loss as to what to get for Paige. She's at that age where she's too old for a lot of toys, but not old enough for a lot of other things. She's growing and developing so fast and will be starting middle school next year! I remember her baby days as if they were only a few weeks ago. It's crazy how time flies and things change.
Posted by: Stacey at December 10, 2007 1:10 PM
It's all so true. I find myself buying little presents for little people not yet born.... haven't told my children yet!!
Posted by: Miss L at December 11, 2007 4:19 AM
Awww, you made me get all leaky here, and I don't even HAVE children. I do feel melancholy when I see how old Howie's nieces and nephews are, some with kids of their own. And our best friends' children are growing up so fast, too. I can't keep up.
Posted by: gw at December 12, 2007 12:08 AM