Tic Toc: Tami's Clock

The Things Kids Say

I just finished the 1957 book by Art Linkletter: Kids Say The Darndest Things! I have learned this from my own experience, but this was fun reading. I think what surprised me the most was how different things are now: the mentality, how we view what kids say. Throughout the book, kids said exactly what they thought about all subjects. I read about poisoning people, shooting them, hitting them, playing Army, playing cowboys and Indians, burning down the school, etc. When the kids mentioned doing these things, they were met with laughter. Today however, they would be sent to the school counselor or even suspended. When hearing about some of these suspensions on the news I have often thought that the authorities were way out of line. Then again, you get the kids who no one paid any attention to and then they ended up shooting their peers or relatives. I would think that it would be hard to know how much stock to put into what these youngsters say.

I will quote now directly from the book because I find this so different from the way parents look at things today (this includes me).

“In those happy days of long ago, stealing watermelons wasn’t juvenile delinquency, it was just good clean fun. Playing pranks on their elders wasn’t hoodlumism, it was youthful exuberance. Smoking cigars out behind the garage didn’t mean you were growing up to be a criminal. It developed character."

In that quote Mr. Linkletter is referring to the way things were when he was a child. I think the big difference is that children were still very innocent in those days. They didn’t have televisions in every room and drugs available on every corner.

Mr. Linkletter goes on to say, “Occasionally, a spanking has been known to do wonders. It must be administered judiciously and on the spot so that the lesson it is intended to teach has real meaning.”

I agree completely with this statement. I am fortunate to have a very well behaved daughter that always strives to please me. However, if she needed it, I would spank her. I definitely believe that if you spare the rod, you spoil the child.

Enough of the child psychology though. This book really was fun to read and I have picked out some things that I found funny. These are from question and answer sessions On Art Linkletter’s TV show: House Party. Art is asking the questions to children who have not been prompted in any way.

* A boy was asked, "What do we mean when we say, ‘Man’s best friend’?”
* “A chair,” he replied.

****

* “One strange answer shocked my audience to silence.”
* “I’d like to have twin sisters. You know, the Siamese kind that are stuck together.”
* “What in the world do you want with that kind?”
* “Well, there’s three of us in the family already. We only have four chairs at the dinner table. So, the new twins could both sit on one chair.”

****

* “What does your mother do?”
* “She’s president of the P.T.A.”
* “That’s a very important job. I’ll bet she’s proud of you, isn’t she?”
* “I’ll say. And she said to be sure not to say “that damned P.T.A.”

****

* “My Dad’s a cop who arrests burglars, robbers, and thieves.”
* “Doesn’t your mother worry about such a risky job?”
* “Naw, she thinks it’s a great job. He brings home rings, and bracelets, and jewelry almost every week.”

****

* “What are you learning at school that you can tell us about?”
* “They teach you not to fight with your friends.”
* “How do they do that?”
* “They read from the Bible where Jesus says, “Thou shalt not kill.”
* “I’m happy to learn that they’ve stopped the killing on the playgrounds this way. But tell me, have you been punished lately?”
* “Yes.”
* “What for?”
* “Hitting a kid in the face with a cupcake.”
* “Why did you do that?”
* “It’s not in the Bible.”

****

* “What are good manners to remember at lunch today?”
* “Don’t throw up on the table.”

****

* “Do you know when George Washington was born?”
* “In 1732 in Kentucky, California.”
* “Where is that?”
* “It’s in Tennessee.”
* “What’s Washington famous for?”
* “The one-dollar bill.”

****

* “You have wonderful looking teeth. How do you keep them that way?”
* “I sneak into my big brother’s bathroom and use his big red toothbrush when he’s not looking.”

****

* “Any brothers or sisters?”
* “No.”
* “How do you feel about being an only child?”
* “I like it; if I had a brother it would just cut into my allowance.”

****

* “What’s your worst bad habit?”
* “My brother; I’ve had him six and a half years now.”

****

* “A shy five year old confessed that he had sneaked out to the barn on his uncle’s farm and tried to milk a cow. It had been quite a brave venture, and I inquired for further details.”
* “Well,” he winced at the memory; “I grabbed hold of one of those things and pulled. All of a sudden it wee-wee’d right down my pants.”

****

* “Is this your favorite dress?”
* “No, it’s an old one.”
* “Then why did you wear it?”
* “Because my mother didn’t want me to wear any of my nice new dresses to your old program and get them dirty.”

****

* “My sister just had a baby but they didn’t tell me whether it’s a boy or a girl, so I don’t know whether I’m an aunt or an uncle.”

****

* “What’s a bachelor?”
* “He’s a guy who has more money than a married man.”

Please remember that these snippets were taken from Art Linkletter’s book: Kids Say The Darndest Things! If you thought they were funny, I would suggest you buy a copy because there is so much more then what I could put on here.

Posted by tami at 12:01 AM Comments (1)

April 15, 2005