Tic Toc: Tami's Clock

Green-Eyed Monster?

It’s hurtful when someone doesn’t acknowledge a gift.

You have thought about someone and their special event, illness, etc., and you take the time to buy something that you think they will absolutely love. You give it to their husband, saying, “This is for your wife for such and such reason.” The husband joyfully accepts it, but then you never hear another word about it, no thank you, no – nothing from the wife.

This did not happen to me, but to someone close to me. She said that she even saw the wife later and she didn’t acknowledge the gift at all. I told her that if that had been me, I would have had no problem at all in asking, “Did you like the lotion I gave you?” Then if she had looked puzzled, you would have known that her husband had not told her whom the gift giver was. By not saying anything, the gift giver is left thinking that the wife must be a major bi*ch. That may or may not be true, but she will never know unless she asks.

The story continues …

Let’s say that the gift giver is a teacher and works at a school. We’ll call her Sally. We’ll refer to the wife as Tracy and the husband/coworker/gift receiver as Bob. Keep in mind that these are the same people as in the paragraphs above.

Bob is opening a new school in another county so he asks Sally, his coworker, to travel with him and help him clean it. He also lets Sally know that he would like her to come to this new school with him so that they can continue to work together. (There is no hanky panky here folks; it’s just two people working together who get along well with each other.) Sally agrees to help clean the new school and makes sure that she wears shorts because she knows that she will be hot.

After cleaning, Sally returns that same afternoon to her old school. She is still in the shorts she wore earlier, not expecting to have to teach that day. Unfortunately, several other people decide to leave, and Sally has to teach after all. She has no change of clothes and rather than make students wait, she makes the decision to go forth and teach in shorts. She even apologizes to her students for the way she is dressed.

Then, unexpectedly, Bob’s partners decide to write Sally up for wearing shorts! She traveled out of town because of Bob, cleaned because of Bob, and now she was being written up for wearing shorts! At this point, I have no idea where Bob was, but he would have been called had this been me.

I wish the story ended there, but it doesn’t …

Within the next few days, Sally is called into the office. She is told that she is not in trouble, but that she won’t be going to the new school with Bob. The reason given is her “strong personality” and “he isn’t comfortable being alone with you in the school.”

Sally’s head is now reeling from shock and she is humiliated to her very core. She doesn’t understand how this could have ever happened. She and Bob were such good friends – or it had seemed that way.

She thinks that this all somehow goes back to Tracy (the wife). She has no idea how or why in the world Tracy could be jealous, but she has no other ideas. After all, when Tracy comes to the school, she never acknowledges Sally is alive.

Sally now wonders if she needs to find a new school – one where people don’t think humiliating things about her. There is a school picnic coming up and she is refusing to go, as she is sure that all the other teachers have heard what has happened.

I know this was long, but I hope that you could follow it all. What are your thoughts and how would you suggest Sally handle the current situation? I honestly don’t think she has the nerve to confront Bob even though that would be my suggestion.

Posted by tami at 10:28 AM Comments (6)

May 26, 2005